Posted by: effingwishes | April 26, 2012

About Today, Goodbyes, Chances

It’s no secret that music brings out more emotion in me than any book or movie ever could. One of the songs that is currently being overplayed on the SoniaRadioNetwork is ‘About Today’ by the National. While the 2004 version from their album The Cherry Tree is fine and in my iTunes rotation, the version on overplay is from the Warrior soundtrack. (I strongly encourage you to see the live version on You Tube.)

Is it a song about goodbye? Is it a song about losing someone who has died? Is it about the drift that inevitably comes?

“Today you were far away
and I didn’t ask you why
What could I say
I was far away
You just walked away
and I just watched you
What could I say
How close am I to losing you”

I am conflicted over endings. People drift and grow apart. Obviously. Hasn’t that been my world for the past # of years? But I’m not concerned so much with past loves here. I find myself thinking about the people I know, I meet, I interact with.

If you are in my life for a day and our experience makes me stronger – Fantastic! If you are in my life for decades and there is nothing holding us together any longer: no shared interests, no shared current experiences, little but a thin connection to the past – why do we hold on?
I hold on because you are Special to me. I don’t know what the next day or decades would bring but I’m sure there will be a time when someone I’m not as close with anymore and I will need one another and be there. And that glimmer of Special keeps us together.

Some irrational fears have a touch of reality to them.

Regardless of all my strength, there are some paths I can’t travel. Maybe it’s a journey I’m just not ready for. Or, maybe it’s the fear that you’ll wake up one day and I will no longer be Special to you. And when I’m no longer special, there’s no reason to hold onto me. So I’ll get packed up and put away.

Maybe a rainstorm or a song on the radio will bring you back to a
memory of the girl you once knew. Or even worse, maybe I’d never cross your mind again.

And it’s that fear that keeps me from asking you About Today.

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