Posted by: effingwishes | November 1, 2012

Nine

I have a 10 year rule with my family and friends. If it hasn’t happened in the last rolling 10 years then I don’t want to talk about, reminisce, dwell, whathaveyou. My memory is impeccable. I can remember items most folks don’t care about. Which is probably why I instilled this life rule in the first place.

I’ve been dreading today. Since my divorce, you would think I would stop counting what ‘would have been’s’ when it comes to anniversaries but I count Everything!. I can’t help myself. I’m a tad OCD. You want to know how many days until an event, I’m your girl. Clocks Fall Back – 3 Days. Christmas – 54 Days. Grounds Hogs Day – 93 days. My car is paid off – 1114 Days. So yeah November 1st would have been 9 years.

I was thinking about the post from today last year. http://wp.me/sSH7r-eight While part of me still feels that way, and part of me is sad I’m not in a “better” (what constitutes better? who knows) place, I am at least grateful that I got another year to spend with family, friends and love ones. I can remember the day for what it was. A Good Day. I looked great, I was Happy, I spent it in the company of people I love. And boy did we dance!

I know I work myself into a panic attack when I feel like I won’t have that type of day again. But I will. I just have to believe in it. And when I can’t, I am glad I have friends to remind me that it will be possible. Even if it takes more time than I would like.

At least next year, it falls into my 10 year rule so we’ll see how I do!

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