Posted by: effingwishes | November 5, 2012

Spin Me Right Round

After a several week hiatus, I got my arse back to where I needed to be: Spin Class.

I remember when a friend first told me about his new spinning addiction, in the beginning of 2010. I’ve seen people spin on TV and avoided making eye contact with the room when I went to the gym by work. Spin was for people already fit. Then I went to try out the Intro class at SPINclub Mokena. It wasn’t too bad. So I tried the hybrid – 25 minutes of spin, 25 minutes of weight training. I think it took 3 days before I was capable of sitting or moving my legs without whimpering and cursing.

It took a few weeks to get into the swing of it, to become addicted, and to completely admire and adore everyone at SPINclub Mokena. I’ve been spinning since March 2010 and I have never loved an activity more. I feel amazing when I spin. I am an athlete for those 60, 90 or 120 minutes.  I’m going to need to get spin certified because I don’t know how I will live without it once I make the Nashville move!

On the drive home tonight I was thinking about why I took my hiatus in the first place and sharing my journey helps me process (and I need my NaBloPoMo entry), so here goes…

I feel like at my age I should be capable of holding it together. That isn’t always the case. Beginning of October, I had a meltdown. I was a rambling practically-hysterical wacko who owes my friends a ton of gratitude for putting up with me. I retreated into myself because I was ashamed that I still wasn’t capable of always holding it together. Instead of using what makes me feel amazing to get myself together, I took it away. I canceled classes, I canceled plans with friends. I just stood still.

I was Humpty Dumpty and had fallen off the wall but didn’t alert any of the king’s men to help put my dumb ass back together.

Thankfully I had to sense to leave my pity party and start getting it together. Focus on the positive aspects of my life and what positive changes and actions I need to keep myself headed in the right direction. Still reveling in my post-spin endorphin buzz, I know I will be back to my 4-5 class a week schedule!

There’s no guarantee that I’ll always keep it together. I’m sure I’ll continue to stumble more than I would like. I just have to not punish myself for it. We have faults, we have bad days. But if I don’t keep peddling, I’ll never know how far I’m capable of going.

Just hold on loosely but don’t let go

If you cling too tightly

 You’re gonna lose control

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