Posted by: effingwishes | November 13, 2012

A Funny Thing Happened… Part 4…

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To My Mid-Life Crisis. (a fictional love story in the works)

It takes a while, but sometimes, the Universe does stop shitting on you. At least long enough for you to catch your breath and let your guard down.

A few weeks later, Danielle and I had a moment to get a drink after work. I only agreed to go after I watched her destroy the name plate that had been stashed in the supply cabinet “junk drawer”. She assured me that No one cared or speculated on what did or did not happen between me and Bryan. Even though she was willing to throw a life-time supply of post-it’s my way if I gave her any details. I should have kept the name plate to beat her with. Thankfully, our busiest season was kicking into gear and everyone was moving on to other crap in their own lives.

I had been sitting at my desk one morning thinking about life and the last 7 months. My PC was rebooting and really what else can you do during that time but reexamine your life. I kept picturing all of the stories I had read of people and their mid-life crisises (not sure what the plural to crisis could be). Men buying red sports cars, Women getting random plastic surgery. I hoped that what I was going through wasn’t my mid-life crisis because it was terribly lame and wasted by “society-standards.” Go Big or Go Home, Right?? I was doing neither and I still couldn’t put my finger on what was so wrong with it all. Maybe I needed to hit the car dealership on the way home.

Just as I started to google plastic surgeons and red sports cars, Bryan knocked on my door and asked if we could discuss a contract renewal and pricing recommendation, that I had snuck on his desk without wanting to be seen. We were able to chat about the documentation, like adults, without awkwardness. I didn’t spill anything on him either. I was beginning to think that I had just imagined all of the awkwardness in the first place and things would be fine.

As he got up to leave, I noticed he was humming.  It didn’t take a genius to recognize that he was murdering the tune of Heavy D’s Now That We Found Love.

“Are you seriously humming Heavy D? Was there nothing on TV last night but VH1’s I LOVE THE 90’s – 1991?”

“How do you remember that that song came out in 1991 but you can’t remember my singing it to you that morning?”

“Bryan, I told you I was an 80’s/90’s lyric Savant. I remember everything. I know what you were singing. I’m interested in the Why. Actually it’s better that I’m not interested. Thanks for stopping by.”

“Not to be the girl in this conversation, but you could have called. Things didn’t have to stay “What happens in Vegas….” We could have been potential.”

Wow, he was being “the girl” in this conversation. That was awkward.  I don’t take much seriously, but I do try to adhere to 1 simple life principle as a working single adult: Don’t shit where you eat.

“Someday, let’s have this talk over a drink. Just not now, not here.” Bryan smiled at me, picked up his papers and walked away. I suddenly felt like that muppet who banged his head on the piano because he couldn’t finish the tune to Mary had  A Little Lamb. I put my head on my desk and couldn’t get Heavy D’s voice out of head. Rev me up, Rev me up My little Buttercup. I’m not sure how long I sat there hitting my head against the desk.

To Be Continued…

Where it started:

Part 2:

Part 3:



  1. Nice!

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